Overall, self-help has been good for me. At its best, self-help reminds me of foundational principles, reassures me I’m not the only one struggling, and offers some practical advice.

But even good self-help has its limits:

• It can lead us to believe that because something is easy to understand it is easy to do. Truthfully, the basics of personal improvement are not difficult to describe yet are immensely difficult to execute.
• It is not tailored to individual situations. Personal details and nuances matter, but by its nature self-help can’t speak to each person’s unique circumstances.

Then there is bad self-help:

• The oversimplified pep talks that cause an emotional crash after the hype wears off.
• The promises of secret techniques, quick fixes, and step-by-step instructions for success that downplay the gritty, unglamorous grind of the real world.
• The “strategies” that are actually tricks to manipulate ourselves (and sometimes others) so we feel better without addressing root problems.
• The temporary high to keep us coming back, instead of the tools we need to move on.

Self-help can be a particularly dark pit for perfectionists when it makes us think we are doing more than we are. It can feed the false belief that we can incubate within the comfort of our minds until we are ready to emerge into the world, fully developed. The relief of escape combined with the illusion of progress is self-destructive, even addictive.

Self-help is a valuable investment with diminishing returns. I try to remain aware that self-help may be providing more entertainment value than personal growth value. I try to keep in mind that personal improvement is personal, so I can’t rely on self-help to deliver the same insight as my own trial and error.