On a walk home, my mind was all but consumed by chatter: daydreams of doing things over again fueled by disappointment and regret. I was lost within my own head—self-defeating and perfectionist—and it was a rock bottom moment.

A couple of years later, things hadn’t much improved, and I sought professional help. That was the beginning of my crawl out of the crippling thoughts and behaviors that had plagued me for years. After slamming against the same mental wall for such a long time, it finally hurt enough for me to find another approach.

I’ve learned such an experience is common, but not inevitable. Many people will experience a wake-up moment or breaking point where they become fed up with and/or scared of continuing as they have been. Yet there are many who suffer heart attacks and continue their unhealthy lifestyles, or keep slamming against the same mental walls till the day they die. Life does not promise comebacks; sadly, some people will never escape the downward spiral.

I am grateful it hurt enough and I had the capacity to improve my situation. If you are awaiting a turnaround:

• You will probably need to try new tactics. See a therapist, read a self-help book, join a support group, take long walks and spend uncomfortable time with your thoughts, etc. Confront it, attempt other angles, and don’t let go.
• Becoming your best self won’t be as dramatic as it is in the movies. You may stay at or near bottom for a while before you begin to emerge. And when you do, your progress is more likely to be imperceptibly slow than sensationally fast.
• It’s never a good time. Perhaps you’ll wait until you graduate, quit your job, find your soulmate, leave town, or make sure your family doesn’t need you. All excuses and delays that will further dig you into the hole you occupy. There is absolutely no easier or better time than right damn now.

If you aren’t ready now, remind yourself every so often.